Monday, 26 October 2015

How I Have Been Dealing with Heartbreak

Heartbreak isn't easy. Not one bit. And unfortunately it is something most of us, if not all of us will experience at some point in our lives

You would have seen here that my relationship of 2 years fell apart and shattered my world. It has been a month and a half since it all fell apart and I wanted to provide some hope and some help for anyone who is currently going through a break up. Here are my tips on how I have been dealing with my recent heartbreak

  • As much as you don't want to hear it, time IS a healer and a massive one. At the time it may seem like you'll never be able to love again and all you want in your life is them and you can't imagine being without them, but the truth is you can. You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just give it time and space

  • Cry as much as you need to. Even if it means crying yourself to sleep. It is the natural way of letting your emotions out

  • Don't end up a hermit. Honestly. Spend as much time with your friends. The people who will support you no matter what. They will build you back up to your former self and into a better person. I have been out every evening and every weekend with friends and they distracted me from what I was feeling, but also provided me with laughter and so much love, more than I knew what to do with and that love has made me into a stronger person. I have even made new friends and grown closer to others

  • Start focusing on YOU. Since being broken up with I have taken my yoga more seriously, started ballet up again and achieved so much more within my Photography because I started to focus on what I want in life rather than WE

  • Delete them from Social Media. Do it. Seriously. I know you may not want to, but you don't wanna see their updates on Facebook or their name pop up anywhere at this moment in time. Don't stalk them either to see how they are getting on. It won't do you any good, especially if you see them adding random girls as friends like mine did

  • Don't overthink. It won't help thinking about what you could have done differently. You broke up because something was broken and you can't change what others think no matter how much you wish or pray. Just take the time to accept your life has changed and it is time to show the world how awesome you really are

  • Don't contact them either. Even if you end up saying you want to be friends. It is too soon for anything like that. I have tried and I deffo messaged too soon and probably ruined any chance of a friendship. But maybe that is better? Get rid of them from your life completely. You don't owe them a friendship after they broke your heart and trust

  • Don't date until you are truly ready. I know it sucks all of a sudden being alone and feeling like you can't cuddle, but trust me, joining Tinder straight away isn't going to help. Whilst it may boost your confidence, wow 150+ matches in a week?!, it certainly won't make you feel good trying to make the ex jealous and it will do nothing for you. Dates will kinda suck for a while and there is no point dating until you know you can have a good time and enjoy them


I have seen some great advice written that states it will take half the duration of the relationship to fully get over it. But hey, the bright side is that you WILL get over it and be able to look back on everything positively rather than full of emotion and a complete mess

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4 comments

  1. Urgh break ups are tough aren't they? I was with mine for 4-5 years and broke up a couple of months ago and it still hurts! It goes in waves I think, sometimes you're fine other times it hits you. Good on you for taking up ballet and focusing on you, I think it's the best thing you can do in that situation. I actually wrote the 'half duration of your relationship' for a magazine article because I'd seen it on Sex and the City and I'm praying it isn't true otherwise I've got over 2 years left of 'getting over' him! I think it does take a long time and the trick is not to put too much pressure on yourself to be done already. But anyway I'm rambling, hang in there and I loved the post!

    sheepishlyshameful.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. I re-read this again as beforehand I was unsure whether I was single or not but now I definitely am so it's sunk in a lot more. I have spent all week texting him first, trying to spark a conversation with him. I even agreed to meet him and then I didn't hear from him the next day which was a complete kick in the face. I did indeed find myself trawling through social media looking at what he was up to. He's deleted all photos of us and even untagged himself in photos of us.He's even deleted the one picture he had of us on his Instagram (which might I add.. HE DOESN'T EVEN USE). I woke up and realised I can't go on like this so I made a rash decision and deleted him AND his family on social media. Again yesterday, I initiated a conversation with him and was getting dead answers and just that he "doesn't know what he wants and just needs time and space"; so I've said to myself and my family that I am going to leave it for 2 weeks without starting a conversation. I will give him the space and time that he needs. If I don't hear from him then he isn't thinking of me and therefore it's time to do the very last thing and block him on social media AND delete his number. Just going to concentrate on myself for the next few weeks :)

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  3. great post and full of wisdom, I am 24 hrs after the event and feel numb, one minute we were booking a holiday and planning our future and the next we were apart and he was spouting venom and telling me never to contact him again.
    I am taking this as if it is a death,mortified and tearful, then i expect to get angry and then hopefully acceptance will fall onto my shoulders. he was my world :(

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