Wednesday, 23 May 2018

The Roaccutane Diaries: Month 3

The Roaccutane Diaries
Day 59 marked the end of my second month and so here we go into month 3!
Just a little update about my derm appointment on day 59 though. It went so smooth! I now only need to see her in 3 months time and I need to have a blood test again a week before I see her. An appointment will come through in the post. In the meantime, for the next 2 months all I need to do is come in, do a pregnancy test with a nurse and voila I'll get a prescription! Easy! Which means my appointment with the actual Doctor should mean that is the end of my treatment. Hopefully only 3 more months to go which would mean I have been on roaccutane for 5 months.

One thing that didn't go so well though. So far I have done 2 blood tests. One before treatment and one during treatment. In BOTH tests my bloods were abnormal. My platelet count was far higher than it should be which has the derm worried as it could be nothing or it could be EVERYTHING. Google brings up cancer, my parents brought up cancer. Google also brings up all kinds of other things too but Cancer is the one we all hone in on. Basically I have to make an appointment with my GP and see what they think we should do and the derm wants me to push for a blood doctor referral... my worst nightmare. Now means I'm also terrified at what my blood count could mean, but because I feel well in myself she reckons it could be nothing and that maybe I had colds or illnesses I don't recall. But it's something we need to look into as it isn't right and I'm now just a little bit worried, OK I LIE I am a LOT worried, and it means I'll have to have more blood tests which freak me out anyway
Day 60 on roaccutaneDay 60 and it's the day I fly to the US! I have packed Mario Badescu's hydro emollient cream in my hand luggage as a super duper moisturiser for the long haul flight. I'm gonna apply a thin layer as soon as I get on the plane and then top up as and when I need during the 10 hour flight to LA
I also have packed a few lip balms obviously. I can't go anywhere without a couple on me. The rest of my regular cosmetics are in my hold baggage obviously.
Would recommend the Hydro Emollient cream for any dry skin sufferer, particular if going on a long haul flight which is known for being super duper drying. I also ended up using a small bit on my exposed ankles too and it kept them and my face moisturised all the way throughout the flight
Day 62 on roaccutane
Day 68 on roaccutane
It looks like the US and the potentially drying weather isn't agreeing with me. Day 68 and I come up with an itchy looking rash all over my arms which later turns into eczema and dry, flakey, lizard like skin. It almost feels like an itchy kind of burn also which isn't pleasant and any clothes seem to make it uncomfortable. I am writing this post on day 92 of treatment and even now on day 92 my arms haven't really healed. They are drier than they were before month 3 and a bit flakey too. Just means I need to remember to moisturise them day and night as well as my face. My skin on my arms also started to go a bit funny before day 68, but it was on day 68 that it looked its ugliest and its worst
The Roaccutane Diaries
However, can we all just stop and appreciate the It Cosmetics CC cream please! Callie Thorpe gave me a small sample to try out and I finally decided to give it a go on our party bus night in Vegas and it covers every bit of redness I have and all of my scarred patches. My face looked flawless and glowing and I think I may have found the best purchase any acne sufferer/roaccutane taker can potentially buy. Truly is a holy grail product and it boosts my confidence ten fold! 20/10 would recommend to anyone over foundation due to its full coverage, as well as it being SPF 50 too
I honestly have started to feel like my skin is stagnating. It's not getting better but not exactly getting worse. It's just stuck. But when I look at it side by side... it's an insane improvement. This is week 2 against day 72 and there has been a big improvement overall in my skin. But this patch on the right hand side of my face is being so stubborn and not exactly budging or disappearing
Day 73 on roaccutane
Once again, the rest of my face looks super duper clear apart from the right hand side. I'm starting to feel a bit fed up and miserable. Like I have days where I am elated at how clear I look. Others where I am fed up, miserable, and wondering if it is worth it. This is 100% the drug also affecting my moods, but when you can no longer see a clear difference in your comparison photos you wonder what is the point?
I'm dry, scaley, flakey, uncomfortable, in pain, is it worth it anymore??!!

I'm also losing a lot of hair. Not noticeable on my head, but on my hair brush and my clothing there are BALLS of it just floating about. I'm full of negativities and moaning whilst on this drug I swear
Day 78 on roaccutane
It's in these few days that I am really struggling with body pain. It's almost like a chronic pain. I am much stiffer and as the day goes on it gets harder and harder for me to function properly and normally. I end up almost crying in bed at 8pm because even lying still hurts now. I wonder if it is a mix of my busy work lifestyle and the drug. Body pain is a side effect but it doesn't seem too common when speaking to other people. I know this affects everyone differently but I have never known pain like this!
Walking becomes twice as hard and even getting to a standing position from sitting down becomes a long and painful process. It's honestly like I have all of a sudden developed the body of an arthritic 80 year old. And when your job involves carrying camera gear pretty much every day you can see why I am so upset, miserable and frustrated
Day 85 on roaccutane
I have sores inside my nose also. Another discomfort. I started slacking with vaselining my nose and so this is the price I am paying. Using the Fucidin H I got prescribed last month I am applying a small amount inside my nose with a cotton bud so that my inner nose can hopefully heal and stop scabbing and bleeding. I am then also applying vaseline up my nose after the steroid cream to try and keep my nose lubed up so that it doesn't dry out really. It got to the point where my nose was constantly crusted over with blood and uncomfortable to move, and you never realise how much you move your nose until you have sores inside of it. Ouch. Not to mention the fact I have 2 nose rings in 1 nostril, my nose felt really swollen and tight even though it looked normal
Day 92 on roaccutane
Day 92 is nurses visit day to get my next months worth. I feel like my skin has gotten worse today?? I have more red patches rather than the clear skin I was getting. It probably doesn't help that since I last took a photo of my face i upgraded my phone so the camera is MUCH better now. But again, I just feel like this whole month there has been no real improvement to my face. Each photo documentation looks similar even when you compare the beginning of this third month to now. Am I stagnating? Is it going to get better?? I should only have 2 months left on it now but I am starting to think this is the peak. I just can't see any improvement anymore and this stubborn patch IS STILL THERE.
If you have been on roaccutane before, I'd love your comments on what months 3 4 & 5 were like please. I know it has flushes of getting worse, and then getting better, but it's not really doing anything for me. I'm still on 40mg and have been throughout my whole course of treatment. The derm didn't want to raise me to 60mg because of my blood tests being weird. 

Oh also, the blood thing that was worrying me and my weird blood tests?? I had my GP appointment when I came back from the US. I had to wait a week when I got back so I was fretting like mad. She didn't really care haha she said it was nothing that she was worried about and as long as I feel well then all is OK. So yeah, I ended up massively freaking out over nothing but it doesn't help the derm was worried and got me worried and just yeah... you never really know what's going on inside of your body anyway. At least I am A-OK after all


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